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Returns 2009-11-03 - 11:24 p.m. I'm home. In a space, alone, for the first time in a few days and the last time for a few more. It's all fine. I just wish everything didn't get so fucking complicated. It seems like nothing is particularly simple these days and it is wearing on me. Or maybe that's just another excuse to feel the same way I always feel. Whatever is happening, I manage to weave it into a story of stress, exhaustion and loneliness. That's been true since I was 16. It's weird to know how much I've changed and loosened up and grown up, while at the same time feel this sense in my gut that I'm in the same place. It comes back in different ways, different images. There's Kaisa walking down the street with Robert. Jessi playing Nintendo with Matt. Sarah sitting in her window with Christian. It all seems so long ago but is still so clear. All of those examples are so different too. But it's easy to make familiar storylines. It's easy to be lonely. It's easy to be exhausted. It's easy to be overwhelmed. It's easy to be "fine." It's much harder to admit that I've got some bad habits. And to admit that I really don't know how to be happy. "I can't depend on just these lonely memories." my last 5 entries:
2009-11-09: Best I Can
read a random entry: August 2002 - present
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